Pregnancy

First trimester.

I always thought of myself as fairly normal. Then I got pregnant. I’ve always been a worry wart. Just not to the extreme that I am now. I’ll write it off as a side effect of my advanced maternal age. Yes that dreaded term. The one I heard before we even tried. Correction “geriatric pregnancy” was the first term she used. I’m not mad about the term itself. Cleary I’m older. I’m 35 and “at risk” for more issues. I think it’s more accepting the fact that I’m actually 35.

I’m fully aware that every birth experience is unique but I’ve heard mostly the horrible side of it.

I’ll never fully recover from seeing my sisters body destroyed giving birth to my nephew Landon. They did the suction procedure. They were only supposed to do three pulls but he did four. It was the most horrific thing I have ever seen. The hospital assured me that what I had witnessed was extremely rare. Like one in a million.

I’ll never forget witnessing the birth of Parker. He was born with a heart defect called TGA. He had a successful 6 hour open heart surgery and 4 hour stomach surgery. It was a roller coaster. You’ll see a lot spending two months in the NICU of Columbia Presbyterian. He’s almost a year now. So it all worked out.  What a blessing from above.

She suffered a loss at six months before Parker. That hits closer to home now.  Problem is, the what ifs were constantly sneaking up.

I have two very close friends who are struggling to conceive. Both trying for years. Hearing their struggles has been eye opening. My Doctor said that due to my age we should try for six months. If nothing happened we would talk about fertility treatments. After we got married I told Sean I wanted to wait until summer. First because I selfishly didn’t want to be pregnant on my honeymoon and second my work contract was up in September. Who’s to say I would get re-signed if I was going to be out with a baby. Just my feelings. I’ll dive into that in a future post. I chose to put my career first for half my life.

Once we got to Italy I was swept away with joy! Literally unending joy. We were eating, drinking, laughing, taking in history and the happiest we’ve ever been. I can’t remember a time in the past 9 years it was just the two of us for over a week. We decided ahhh why not.

About two weeks after we got back I had a funny feeling. My breasts were KILLING me. Then the tidal wave of nausea!!!!! The nausea never stopped for the entire first trimester. Sean snapped me this one afternoon when he met up with friends. He couldn’t get me up and out. I just wanted to sleep. Thank God for my loyal love Cooper.

I remember starting in July when I’d barely make it through work and go right to bed when I got home. I’d sleep from noon until the next morning. I couldn’t bare the smell of food. The only comfort I found was in bread or pancakes.

These were my saving grace. Ginger candies, preggie pops and sea-bands.

I am not someone who likes to be incapacitated. I would try to cook and burn meals. I’d forget things people told me seconds after they had. I was forgetting names on the air. Just a hot mess. I’ve heard the stories all these years but it’s different when it’s  happening to you.

I had this whole plan of how I was going to tell Sean. My dream was to rent one of those cessena planes that fly over LBI with a sign. Well that’s life, never goes according to plan.

I couldn’t hide my nausea and constantly being tired. He was away in Saratoga the last weekend in July. I went hiking with my best friend Melissa. I was now almost two weeks late. She said, “I think you need to take a test.”  So we stopped on our way home to buy a test. Got home, peed on the stick and there it was. Pregnant.

It was a Sunday, Sean was passed out and hungover.  I just couldn’t keep it in. So I tied the pregnancy test to Coop and placed him on the bed! Sean woke up confused. Took the stick and stared at it for 60 seconds. Once he figured it out he looked over with a big smile and tears in his eyes and hugged us both.

One major thing I learned! Next time I’ll choose the test that says, “Pregnant” not the one with the lines. Not man friendly!!! LOL.

When I called the doctor to make an appointment they replied, “Great we’ll see you in 8 weeks.” I was like Ummm ok can you give me some direction. What can I eat, what do I do? The nurse said they don’t see anyone until week 8 because anything can happen. It’s so surreal knowing you’re pregnant but have to wait 8 weeks to confirm with an ultra sound.

At that point we decided to tell our friends and family in person and sit back and relax. My first appointment was scheduled the week we were in LBI. I didn’t want to rush back into the city. Plus the morning sickness was still there. I ended up having my first appointment at a little over ten weeks. They took blood, tested my urine and did the first vaginal ultra sound. Seeing it for the first time was incredible. It’s little feet were rapidly kicking. The doctor and nurse said it was a big baby for ten weeks. Sean and his siblings were close to ten pounds at birth. Ohhh boy!!!

We decided that we don’t want to know the gender. When else in life can you have such a big surprise.

We found out from the blood test that the baby did not have Down syndrome. Be prepared to pay for that test. Insurance doesn’t cover it.

We also found out the laundry list of things I can’t eat. No deli meat, sushi, fish, nothing that isn’t pasteurized and low carbs!

I have given Sean strict instructions for my first meal after birth. Goat cheese on bread and an old-fashioned!!! Or maybe a Guinness. I hear it helps produce breast milk.

We decided to stroll around the city after. Sean held the ultra sound picture in his pocket all day. We didn’t say much,  just kept smiling.

Our next set of conversations were where will we live, how will we do this and OMG we’re having a baby! The way I see it we will figure it out. We always have. It’s unfortunate that our jobs are two hours apart. I’d love to make enough money for him to quit his job and start the tenure process all over again closer to the city. Thats just not an option. So for now we’ll enjoy this process and be grateful we are in the city and close to the best care in the world.

Its been an incredible journey of ups and downs to this point. Sean and I have had one hell of a ride. Things are about to change in ways we don’t even know yet. Here’s to the next chapter or trimester. Ha. Excited to share this with you all.

ANNIE XOXO

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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24 comments

  1. Dana 22 November, 2017 at 19:43 Reply

    Not sure where you are going for your OB / prenatal care, but the office I used to work for down in Mt Kisco sees pregnant mothers as early as 4 weeks, for the exact reason the nurse told you they wouldnt see you “because anything can happen”. I am sorry you werent able to be seen until 10 weeks, especially considering your age and AMA diagnosis during pregnancy due to that and it being your first child; that is exactly why I wont go to any OB in Dutchess County if I ever become pregnant (I am 34) I heard they will not see any pregnant women prior to 8 weeks either. Hope you are feeling well, not sure if you are planning on finding out the sex but from what I have heard from friends who have had your symptoms you are looking right on track for a little boy! Sending you lots of good vibes for the remainder of this amazing journey!!!!

    • admin 23 November, 2017 at 19:13 Reply

      Hi Dana, thank you for your feedback. xo I’m going to Columbia Presbyterian. After what happened with my sister Vassar it was not an option to go there. A lot of people are saying boy too. 🙂 We’re not finding out. Best wishes to you. Keep in touch. xoxoxo

  2. Diego Vittorini 25 November, 2017 at 22:15 Reply

    They say that good things happen to good people. They’re right and you and Sean are two of those people. Congrats!!!

  3. Joe Navedo 25 November, 2017 at 22:20 Reply

    What a beautiful post. I have a son. Never got to experience the pregnancy or birth. Through your words and descriptions, I feel like I am now. Thank you for sharing your life with us. Thank you for always replying to my IG messages and comments. Thank your parents for raising you right. Thank Sean for picking the keeper of the century.

  4. Kellie 26 November, 2017 at 03:11 Reply

    Loved reading this post! So excited for you and Sean! I listen to you guys everyday and had to call my mom and sister when you announced you were expecting! You will both be great parents!

  5. Danielle 26 November, 2017 at 03:32 Reply

    Don’t listen to what people say about symptoms and gender. I had a half headed little boy. Never had morning sickness but had plenty of heart burn and i was ALL belly while pregnant. Whatever your baby is, it is surely a blessing! Prayers for a happy and healthy pregnancy.

  6. Linda 26 November, 2017 at 03:48 Reply

    Such a beautiful story! I needed that. I just turned 36 and I’m trying for my first. I keep telling myself to be prepared for the worst (I also have friends who have experienced loss and fertility issues), but I see how everyone’s journey is different and what a shame it would be to not enjoy the amazing news because of fear. Thank you for reminding me that great things happen and to be optimistic.

    • admin 26 November, 2017 at 14:29 Reply

      Yes Linda!! Stay positive. Its easier said then done. I truly believe putting it out of our minds is what helped. There’s so much added pressure and stress being older. When I go to my appointments in the city most of the parents are older though. Gives relief. Please keep me posted. xoxoxoxoxo

  7. Alexandra 26 November, 2017 at 14:02 Reply

    This was so great to read! I’m 7 weeks pregnant right now (with my first at 37) and am dying waiting for that 8 week appt which I had to make at 9 weeks!!!! So enjoyable for me to read especially because there is so much I can relate too!!!! Can’t wait for your next post!!!!

    • admin 26 November, 2017 at 14:26 Reply

      Congrats Alexandra!!! That first appointment is the greatest.To finally see what you are feeling. It seems lie forever to get there but its worth it. Give baby time to grow. Best wishes. So happy for you. xoxoxo

  8. Jeanette 26 November, 2017 at 20:48 Reply

    Annie, what an awesome post. Thanks for sharing. I had my first at 30. My second at 37. I was gestational diabetic, and bc of my age high risk as well. At the end I had 2 beautiful healthy girls born via C-section at 38 weeks. Everything will be fine. Enjoy the time and as you said everything will work itself out. Take care. You have been one of my favorite do since ….hmmm. Chris M days. Merry Christmas May God Bless you, your hubby and ur lil nugget. Xoxox

  9. Kathy 26 November, 2017 at 21:30 Reply

    Congratulations to you both!! I was 34 when I got pregnant with our first child, and 35 when he was born. I found that there were soooooo many tests to check for soooooo many things that COULD POSSIBLY go wrong, it was making us crazy. We finally said “no more” and enjoyed the ride. Hoping that you are able to enjoy the ride too!

    We had a very healthy baby boy in 2001 and another in 2005 (I was 39!! 😳). Here’s wishing you nothing but the best!!!

    • admin 28 November, 2017 at 11:31 Reply

      Thank you for the note Kathy!! Glad to hear I’m not alone with the fears. Staying positive and enjoy the journey. xoxoxo

  10. Beth 28 November, 2017 at 14:53 Reply

    Annie, I’m sitting here @ my desk reading your blog. I not only have goosebumps but happy tears trickling down my cheeks for you. I glance over looking at all my pictures of my beautiful kids from babies to now as well as artwork from them plastered all over my office. I’m now 46 and my kids are 10 & 8. I will not lie, I was so very scared with each one. Everyone’s experience is different. Your going to rock this!! oxoxoxo

  11. Chistine 30 November, 2017 at 20:00 Reply

    Hi Annie!
    Just wanted to say a big Congratulations to you and your husband! As someone who went through her “geriatric pregnancy” last year I can tell you that I relate to EVERYTHING you said. I had my son in January at the ripe old age of 37 LOL. I’m 38 now. The only person, aside from our family, who made me feel like I wasn’t the oldest woman giving birth was our genetic counselor. She said that she did NOT see me as an “old mother” at all and wasn’t worried. Fortunately she was right and our son was born perfectly healthy on January 27, though he was stubborn and I had to be induced. The best advice I got and can share is to REST AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. Listen to your body and sleep whenever you can. Let your husband, your family and your friends help as much as they can. Once that little one here, it’s a lot harder to get that much needed rest so soak it in now. It’s the most amazing thing in the world but it’s also the hardest job I’ve ever had. It’s true what they say, “The days are long but the years are short.” We’re coming up on our son’s first birthday and it just blows my mind. Enjoy every second, even on the most difficult days and know that every mom goes through it. You will make it through and it will all be worth it!

    • admin 2 December, 2017 at 21:49 Reply

      Hi Christine, thank you so much! So happy to hear that everything went well. Funny today I had so much to do but felt run down so I took your advice and I’m resting, Happy 1st birthday to your son. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

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