First half of the second trimester.
I am ALIVE again! I woke up one day and was back. I had energy, an appetite and felt normal. Things just fit a little more snug. By the fifth month I have gained 5 pounds. The waist part of my jeans and underwear are tight. I’m only 5 “2, so I feel rather round. My waist was the only small part of my body. Now I feel like a perfectly round apple. Constantly scrolling through instagram and seeing all these perfect preggo bloggers is giving me a complex. They look so chic and thin. These tiny perfect bumps, sitting on top of long legs.
I’ve always been an extremely confident person. I owe that to my Dad. He always kept me in check. Mom always said, “be happy you have legs that work and be happy with what God gave you.” I love and appreciate my curves but I started to let it get to me. That I wasn’t this tiny preggo lady. It’s hard when things fit tight and every piece of clothing you try on feels uncomfortable. So I decided “Fuck it.” I’m going to embrace and love every change that my body is going through. These changes are the least of what’s to come. I’ve been staying active and eating right. No shame.
The biggest growth I’ve experienced is in my breasts. Holy moly I can’t go braless anymore. Everyone tells you to rub cocoa butter on your tummy to avoid stretch marks. At this point I’m lathering my boobs every day.
I went for my full anatomy ultra sound in October. They said all looked good. The baby was at 11 ounces. The only concern was that my placenta is low and over my cervix. It should be up by now. We’ll see how that has progressed when I go next week.
After the full anatomy we took the subway uptown to Morgan Stanley Children’s Hospital. That’s where Parker had his heart surgery. They still don’t know if TGA is hereditary. To be on the safe side they had us go for a heart echo. It was an hour long heart ultra sound. We got a “90% positive” that the heart is good.
We met with out Doctor after both appointments and so far so good. She asked what my birth plan was. Drugs or no drugs.
She said that Columbia has a low rate of C-Sections. Only 12 percent. In that case it would be a last case scenario. Which is totally fine by me. C-Section scares me.
I said I would go for the drugs if needed. Everyone tells you “use them, they’re available.”
When we were on the plane to Scotland I asked my Mom if she had natural birth. She went natural, with all three of us. OMG how had I never asked her that? She’s my hero.
Who knows what can happen. I can go early, I can be late, there can be complications or all can go great. There’s no control with childbirth. Everyone’s story is different. I asked if I needed to take a lamaze class. She said it wasn’t necessary. I’m going to do it anyway. I need to learn how to breath properly and calm my damn nerves. I also want to take a CPR class. It’s been over a decade since I took one.
One of the beautiful comforts I’ve received is from my dog Cooper! He can be a grumpy senior doggie. Lately though he’s been all over me. He makes everything ok.
Now that things seemed on the positive move, I felt it was time to let everyone know! We took time to tell our friends and family in person. Telling some of my friends was difficult. Knowing they were struggling to conceive made me feel really guilty sharing the news. Just never want to be insensitive.
One of my dearest friends has been trying for years. Many conversations over when it will happen? If it doesn’t will she be ok? One day I was on my way home and she called. My battery was on 2%. By the grace of God my phone stayed on for 45 minutes. She proceeded to tell me she was pregnant. OMG instant tears. This was a friend I had been worried about telling. Here she was telling me her greatest news. Tears, tears and more tears. I still didn’t know how to tell her. This was her moment to share the news. I didn’t want to throw mine out there. Once we got to about 45 minutes of talking I said “My phone’s miraculously still on but I wanted to tell you before it dies…” She goes, “OMG your pregnant.” We screamed, laughed and cried for the longest minute. Best feeling ever. We are going to do this together. We met in our early 20’s and now here we are in our mid 30’s having our first babies!!!
I hadn’t told anyone at work yet. Going public with something so personal, I wanted to make sure baby was ok. One day I decided to just come out with it. I was now about 4 months along. It was nerve wrecking and empowering. So much of my life on the radio comes from me, then through co-workers. I wanted to own this moment. Me, myself and I. No one introducing that I had big news. No one saying it for me. I wanted total control over the conversation. It couldn’t have gone better. It was such a relief to get it out. I got so many beautiful messages from people who listen to the station. So much love.
You really learn who is genuinely happy for you and who is not when you share happy life news. Always a nice refresher of who to keep close to your heart.
In mid-october I did the Avon39 walk to end breast cancer. That first day was over 20 miles. 39 in total. Hence my bruised toenails. Gross. When I got home that evening I had to ice my knees and lower back. When I was laying on my back I felt a flutter. Like a small vibration. My first official movement. I guess the baby had been asleep all day while I walked.
A few weeks later I felt a lot of movement when we went to a Billy Joel concert! Especially during the song, “It’s all about soul.”
The biggest movement I felt was one friday night. I was laying on the couch binge watching Stranger Things. Every time the intro music played the baby moved like crazy. The wildest, freakiest feeling I have ever felt. From that day on, it’s been non-stop. I felt a ton when we flew to Scotland. Sean’s reaction the first time he felt it was hilarious. Shock and intrigue.
On to Maternity clothes!!! I went to H&M, Old Navy and Macys. All there maternity is online now. While in Macys they told me to go to Pea in the Pod. Holy expensive. I posted this picture to Instagram. The outpouring of suggestions was AMAZING. Thank you. I’m using them all. Mom just got me a ton of clothes from Burlington.
At this point I look as though I ate a massive meal. Kind of looking forward to the pop. It’s coming. From what I hear this is the best trimester. I’m trying to take it all in. Sean is still in the shock phase. He doesn’t say much. I’m sure it doesn’t seem real to him yet. Men don’t feel the physical changes like we do. I’ve been pretty good doing everything on my own. Haven’t needed him to make a food run or help carry things yet. I’m holding on to my independence as long as I can. I’m sure that will change soon. I haven’t bought anything for the baby yet. Partly because we don’t know boy or girl. Also because I don’t want to jinx anything.
So that’s it. Just strolling along waiting for the next set of changes. Thank you for all the kind words of encouragement. It’s been great reading your experiences. I feel like I have an army of strong women to go through this with.
Oh quick question. I’m curious what pre-Natals you took?
The gummies are good but seem sugary. The vegetarian ones made me nauseous.